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So sexual-massage, yeah? It’s like a massage, but spicy, innit. Them hands ain’t just kneadin’ ya back - they’re goin’ *places*, fam. Little-known fact - back in ancient times, them Chinese emperors was gettin’ these rubs to “balance their chi” or summat. Probs just an excuse to get freaky, haha! Makes me laff thinkin’ about some posh git in a robe tryna play it cool while he’s all oiled up.

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As the sun starts to set, I make my way to Calle 3 for some street food. I grab some alcapurrias, and they’re heavenly. I’m munching away, feeling like a king. But then, I see a guy trying to sell me a “magic” bracelet. I’m like, “C’mon, man. I’m not falling for that.” But he’s persistent. I just walk away, shaking my head.

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